Lyrics to "The Late Feast" by Anna Jean:

I think one of the problems with how we’re brought up as human beings
Is that we’re taught that somehow it’s a problem to feel
Happy and sad and joy and sorrow and anger and hatred and insecurity
To cry, to want things, to need things
To socialize, to feel like never talking to anyone
It’s like there’s [there are] all these dichotomies between us and within us
Where, you know
God forbid I feel unhappy for just a moment in my life
Or god forbid that the leaves aren’t turning the way that they’re supposed to turn
Well, I have news for you

We’re all just leaf stems sewn up together, two pieces of the leaf making a stem against one another
Pouring into each other like eyes, pouring into each other like eyes, pressed together because that’s what we’re told, like mouths closed shut because that’s what we’re told
And we’re just sewing our bodies shut and ripping them back open and sewing them shut and ripping them open and sometimes that feels really good and sometimes that really hurts

Well, we’re all in that dichotomous situation, [a] dichotomy, dichotomous, is that a word?
Who cares if it’s a word - that’s the human experience
just to make up what you want as you go along
and no one can tell you what is or isn’t
when they hand you their Magazines and they tell you to buy this for 19.95
plus shipping and handling
Honey, there’s no magic pill
There’s nothing to make you happy except yourself and even then
you’re going to feel so down sometimes and that’s ok
and you’re going to feel like the world sometimes and that’s [so] wonderful and I’m happy for you
Well guess what, being happy is a process - it’s a decision that you make every single day in your life
And there’s nothing that can stop you from feeling sad sometimes because if you always felt happy well guess what you’re not really living because
people die, drugs fail, babies don’t get born, accidents happen, fires rage - you broke that bone last week, you didn’t mean to fall up the stairs;
well, we all knew you were clumsy
and it’s raining inside your shoes again and it’s soaking through
and the car didn’t start last week and, you know, it’s just…
it’s a chaotic world out there, and, as an existentialist, I believe

that we are all leaves pouring ourselves into one another, tying each other together at the stem, tying each other together at the stem
and we grow up into beautiful trees but we are birthed from the soils deep below
where the maggots eat us, the maggots eat us,
the worms feast on our bodies
and it’s so nutritious
and the blood courses through them
and they enjoy it, they really do,
it’s the happiest moment in their lives because they we’ve been starving all week
until you showed up
how’s that for perspective?

Singing because I’m happy
Singing because I’m sad
it’s alright, it’s alright to feel that

and every now and then I have a little thought in myself
every now and then I lay in bed and I wonder to myself: is this it?
And every now and then I think to myself
And every now and then I’m wandering in the shoes of myself
And I’m wondering and I’m wondering and I’m shaking and I’m screaming and I’m thinking….
Is this everything that I could have ever accomplished?
Is this everything that I could have ever thought of?
Am I just conditioned by everything someone else told me believe?
Is this even my brain? Is this even my thoughts? Is this even who I am?
Is that why I am sad right now?
Am I happy right now?
God, being a human is difficult
But hey, it’s okay, you can feel all the feelings you want to feel

And we’re all just leaves pouring into one another
We’re all just leaves sewing up one another
And the maggots beneath us are happy to be feasting on us
And the worms beneath us are happy because they were starving
They really were, they were so happy to have a meal

All I’m saying is that it’s okay to be exactly as you are
All I’m saying is that a magazine doesn’t have to tell you to be something different
All I’m saying is that everything is perfect in that very moment
All I’m saying is that everything is changeable in that very moment
All I’m saying is that we only have that moment
All I’m saying is make a new moment if you don’t like the current moment
All I’m saying is be what you want to be
All I’m saying is cry if you want to cry and smile if you want to smile and joyish if you want to joyish and that’s not even a word and I’m allowed to make that up because I am a human and that’s my decision
And that’s how I feel
And even that’s confusing